Think you escaped packing on the pounds in college? A quick trip Down Under will change that in no time.
The only thing celebrated on Boxing Day is surviving Christmas. You will never learn to love Vegemite like he does. Or meat pies for that matter.
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This year RedHotPie. Asking the questions that the Australian Bureau of Statistics are too afraid to ask, The Great Australian Sex Census has dropped some extremely titillating stats on Aussies about their own sexual kinks, desires and secrets. It has revealed that Aussie men prefer the humble handful over Baywatch boobs, that real estate agents are the most likely professionals to cheat on their partners and that the Northern Territory is the home of the outdoor shagger.
Radio, television, print and online news and infotainment brands have devoured the stats produced by the Census creating new and exciting content based around these Aussie nookie numbers. It seems the Census has little to no respect for expectations showing that the states we had assumed would be leading the majority of the Census subjects are in fact trailing the rest of the country; and some of the smaller states So sit back, grab a bev and find out which state cleaned up, which state played it safe, which state is happiest about their bedroom activities and which state is feeling the most unfulfilled.
State Vs State!!! He spends a third of his time watching it. He bets on it. He bonds over it.
He opines on it. Sometimes he might even play it. Sport is truth and truth is sport. Prepare yourself for a life spent worshipping at its altar. If you want to occupy the deepest, most intimate recesses of his heart and mind, spend some time getting your head around our sporting codes.
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Thou shalt respect his sporting calendar. Each season brings with it unique sporting events.
In the summer there is cricket and in winter, Australian Rules Football and rugby, all accompanied with meat pies and pot bashing. Every other day of the year is for lounging on the couch watching cage fighting, baseball, American football, hockey, snooker, toad-racing, curling, or literally anything pay-per-view trawls up.
Thou shalt do his footy betting for him. This is clearly base superstition akin to mirror-breaking, but just indulge him. His love for footy is not always guided by reason.